Maggie in Venice

ABOVE: Maggie sports a girlie version of U.S. Secret Service sunglasses.

Maggie is still obsessed with Johnny Depp, who continues to ignore her whimpering requests for an e-mail. Still, she refuses to give up hope: Now that Johnny owns a palazzo in Venice, Maggie is confident that her skills will lead to a job as a bodyguard for Johnny and his family.

As a herding dog, Maggie is ready to keep Johnny's kids from wandering off, and she can nip at the heels of any paparazzi who make nuisances of themselves.

So how about it, Johnny? E-mail maggie (at) europeforvisitors.com when you're ready to add a celebrity service dog to your retinue.

Photo: Thatcher Imboden